“And he said, A certain man had two sons:
And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.
And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,
And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:
For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” Luke 15:11-24
How the prodigal’s story starts
It’s a scary place to wake up one day and find yourself a prodigal. I know – I’ve been there myself, far too many times. Like Jeremy Camp’s song, “Again”:
Here I am again
Back in the same place I’ve been
So many times
Here I am again
Losing the battle
And thinking I’ll never win this fight
Back there again. Not because I wanted to be – I don’t think anyone ever really wants to be a prodigal. Chris Swanson of Calvary Chapel Chester Springs once described the difference between a prodigal and an apostate as the apostate turns their back on God, never to return – the prodigal always comes home. I think it’s just one of those slow, inexorable slides that happens to believers when we first take our eyes off God. You start entertaining thoughts you know you shouldn’t. You get it in your head that there’s something better out there than what you have and you decide you want it. And wanting it starts to turn into needing it, and eventually, having to have it. (Pretty sure that’s what the bible would describe as “covetousness”.) And so you start doing things you weren’t doing before that you know you shouldn’t be doing, and you start telling yourself it’s not a big deal, it’s just this one thing this one time, there are people doing a lot worse. And that first compromise is the first step down a path that leads to a slippery slope, and then the slope gives way, and the ground beneath are feet suddenly vanishes and the next thing we know we’re buried under an avalanche of poor decisions, decisions that lead to us lying with the pigs in the muck and the mire.
Filthy. Despondent. Defeated. Despairing. Alone. Beyond dunamis. And you think there’s no way God is ever going to forgive you. You convince yourself He’s given up on you. That this was that last straw, the one that finally makes Him turn His back on you forever. And you lie there, frightened beyond all imagination, wondering if this might just finally be it. You finally went too far. It’s over.
And then you realize…
David Crowder recorded an amazing song called “Still” where the central theme is precisely how God isn’t giving up on you. How He’s not done with you yet. That He’s made promises to “never leave you or forsake you” and to “be with you til the end of the age”. Promises He recorded for us in the Bible specifically stating that “He who has begun a good work in you will not cease to continue until the day of redemption”. And as Crowder sings, those promises and those words and those truths suddenly come alive in your heart…
You’re keeping such a long list of all the times you don’t win
Tryin’ a get it right, ain’t gettin’ it right still
Always hatin’ how that feels, but let me tell ya
Every rebel in the church got a story like yours
‘Til they read about grace in a verse
And a couple red words come alive
And you realize
He’s working on me still
It comes alive in your heart because He lives in us. He gave us the gift of His Holy Spirit. And the Spirit stirs in you, and you remember your Heavenly Father, and you recognize His voice, and you know in your heart that you do know Him. And that’s when you realize your legs and feet still work, and you pick yourself up because He’s calling you, calling you home, because He misses you, wants you to be with Him, wants to bless you all over again. And then the prodigal realizes they always did have it better, that there is a kind, loving Father just aching for them to return to Him, to abide in Him, aching to restore them to Him. And because you hear Him calling, you know His voice, you follow Him. And you start what you think is going to be a very long, difficult journey home.
Michael W. Smith has a song, “I’ll Lead You Home” that describes that experience from God’s perspective:
Hear Me calling, hear Me calling
You’re lost and alone
Leave it to Me, I’ll lead you home
And then you find home was never that far away, at all…
He was waiting.
I was just sitting here once, not too long ago, saddened and discouraged, and I started to pray. I asked God to speak to me, to draw near to me, to let me hear His voice, feel His touch, to encourage and strengthen me… to forgive me… again. I asked to hear His words, that I might cling to them, in hope and in faith. And as I sat there, in prayer, the most amazing thing happened. I closed in prayer and opened my eyes – and I honestly don’t know how I even got there – but I remembered a verse from the bible where Jesus said, “Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.” (Matthew 9:2)
And that’s when it hit me. God had just answered my prayer. He had spoken to me. He did give me His words. He had encouraged me.
“Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.”
And so I bowed my head again in prayer and just thanked Him. Thanked Him for His words, thanked Him for His encouragement, thanked Him for his longsuffering with me, His patience, His kindness, His tenderness, His love and forgiveness, His mercy and grace. And I just started to weep as I remembered His promises. To never leave me or forsake me. To remember my sins no more. And I just thanked Jesus again for dying for my sins on the cross, for taking my place, and as the tears poured out, I pounded my chest and prayed, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.” (Luke 18:13)
